Monday, January 26, 2009

Theory..(i)tically

So, here's the deal... I have a theory. And I know that I am correct. It is just that most of the people whom I relate my theory to, tend to think that I have got it all wrong. But, fools that they are, they do not realize that by disagreeing with me, they are only proving me right. Not that they are fools, I know they are (that is another theory altogether), rather, that I am correct.

There is another theory by a very well-known anonymous figure. It (or he, depending on your sensibilities. This quandary, amazingly, can be resolved by another theory. Boy, don't we just love theories..!) says that most of the theories are, well, just theories. Like a famous non-theory that says that 87% of all statistics are inaccurate. Well, guess what, even this theory proves my theory right.

Ek minute, let us just clear up the blackboard (or ocre-blog, if you wish) a little. We have already talked about my theory, the theory that the ones who disagree with my theory are fools (more of a fact actually, but a theory explains their predicament), the famous anonymous theory, the It/he theory, the 87% theory.. hmph. Let us call these theories Theory A, Theory B and so on.. in the order in which I have summarized the list. So, in the short span of the 15 odd seconds you have taken to reach here, you have already been introduced to, what, 5 theories. That's one theory every 3 seconds. Wait a minute, I like the figure 3. But I like 2.5 even more. And the color blue too. So here goes another theory, it is quite improbable (not impossible, after all, Impossible is Nothing.. And I like Adidas stuff) that any 6 people in a group of 15 would all wear the same shade of blue on a given day. Wanna disagree with my theory? Sure, go ahead. It is a free country. But, I am free to call you a fool too...!

In the midst of all this, I completely forgot to tell you what my original theory was. Well, it was just that my theories are bunkum. See if you can disagree with that..! If you do, well, I have told you enough times in this post already, as to what I shall refer you as henceforth. And if you don't, then you need to visit the psychiatrist matey..! And if you take all this a bit too personally, peace out umbre, it was just a theory, it's not meant to be taken seriously. Haven't you heard this theory...?