Sunday, May 25, 2008

One year after college.. taking stock of my life

Has it really been one year ? It sure doesn't feel like it. Seems like just yesterday, when we had bid our 'final' adieus to each other at good ol' CP. Hugging each other, solemn faced, and with heavy hearts. Wondering if we would ever find friends like these again (at least I was...). But somewhere deep inside, there was a hope for a bright future, a hope for friends who would be just like the ones that I was saying my au revoirs to, a hope for a life as content and satisfaction-filled as I lived thus far.

And it was with that hope, that I joined Adobe. Hoping to meet great minds and even greater people. For the first 4-5 months I even managed to live the kind of life I was hoping for. Cool work, recognition at the work place, making a couple of amazing friends in my team, and a wonderful environment, I thought that I had it all. Going to office really early in the morning to chat with others, partying at least once every week, passing time with like-minded people, and leaving late after having played a game of tennis. I loved it.

What I did not realize was the cost at which all this was coming. I failed to fathom the simple fact that the more the time I spent with these friends, the lesser the time I had to share with my family. Leaving early and coming late became a source of irritation for my parents. And rebellious that our generation is, I felt victimized at being told how to lead my life. I was 'working' now, after all. And financially independent. Never for a moment did I sit back to realize the effect that the harsh words I spoke at home were having on my relationship with my family.

Not only this, the plans that I had made for my future were suffering too. Content with my state of work and very very satisfied indeed to be taken under the aegis of a couple of very sharp fellows at work, I started thinking about changing my plans. And then there was her. Coming into my life like a fresh breeze and literally taking my breath away. With her in my mind, all my well laid out plans were bunked.

And the third mistake in my life (couldn't resist it, accusations of plagiarism be damned...) was taking my old friends for granted. Just like I had neglected my family, I had foolishly lost touch with my friends, who just a few months ago had been part of my every day life.

And now with the exceedingly strained conditions and frayed nerves at home, with my career plans having gone for a spin & the mentors having deserted me just when I needed them the most, with my relationship with her at the nadir of all nadirs (and with me to blame almost completely for it), and having forsaken my old pals, I can only sit back, pause for a moment and realize that nothing worse could possibly happen to me right now, and that anything that happens now is gonna be for the better only.

This one year has passed really quickly, did I say? Maybe not. So much has happened in this one year. I have experienced emotions I used to scoff other people for having. I have been both marveled & shocked at my parents', my friends' and my attitude and reactions to various things. It certainly doesn't seem possible to fit it all in one year. And yet it has been just that much time since we all left for distant shores (and for not so distant ones too) to pursue our dreams & aspirations. It has been just that much time since we decided that we would keep in touch and some of us have failed to do so (u listening madda...??? ... er, reading... )

Please let's get back together some time really soon guys. All of us. It has been so long since I have genuinely had fun...